In Loving Memory of
Delia Jervis
A Rock in the Pond of Life
by Jason Jervis
Hello everyone,
My name is Jason and I am Delia’s youngest son. On behalf of my Father Stephen, my brother Joel, myself, and the rest of our extended family, I would like to thank everyone who travelled from near and far to celebrate the life and legacy of my mother, Delia Jervis. It’s truly an honor for me to be standing here today sharing the eulogy of such an extraordinary source of light and love with all of you.
When my Mother asked me to speak at her funeral service in January, I thought to myself, “how in the world am I going to do this? How will I eulogize a person who meant so much to so many people and so much to me?” I realized that in life we are faced with these moments to remind us of how finite our physical time in this world is. If we’re lucky, it inspires us to think deeper about how we’ve used the time we’ve been given. It causes us to reflect: Did we show compassion for the suffering? Did we have authentic relationships grounded in truth? Did we love unconditionally? These are questions whose answers are most often times not revealed until the end of our lives. Throughout the entirety of my Mom’s life she revealed these truths about who she was to my brother and I, and all of you. She quietly demonstrated the principles of her faith through her actions rather than hollow words. As a nurse, my Mother spent her career offering compassion to those in need. As a family member and friend, my Mom was the glue that joined diverse groups of people together. And as a mother, she demonstrated her endless capacity to love unconditionally. My Mother lived her life through these values because this was who she was, not someone she was trying to be.
When I think about my Mother’s life, I think of three rocks that defined who she was: Delia, the nurse & caregiver; Delia, venerator of family and friendships; and Delia the loving Mother. These three rocks kept her focused on what was really important, and when she tossed these rocks of who she was into the pond of life, they sent ripples of compassion, fraternity, and unconditional love into the world.
As legend has it, my Mom was either going to be a nurse, or a nun. Fortunately for my brother and I, she chose the former. Being of service to the injured or suffering came from my Mom’s unshakable faith. I find it apropos that my Mom named me Jason which means “Healer”, because my Mom was a healer in my life and the lives of so many others. She said that nursing was the service of God through her; and that service began shortly after she graduated nursing school when she was involved in a horrific bus accident in the Philippines. The accident took place down the side of a mountain ravine, on a cold December afternoon. One of her brothers and one of her sisters died in the accident along with many others, but she survived. As horrific as that experience was for her, she possessed the clarity, calm, and presence of mind to save the lives of two of her sisters. That terrible accident was the catalyst to my Mom dedicating her life to serving people in need. As a result of her years of dedication and passion, she became very successful in her nursing career. When she reached a position of power she used that power to increase diversity, to invest in other people’s passion and talent, to create new leaders, and to raise the collective bar of the people around her. My brother and I were never surprised by her success because we knew that what drove her to be a great nurse was otherworldly. Many of you here today were coworkers or colleagues of my Mom. I would like to personally take the opportunity to remind you how much you all meant to her. She LOVED her nurses; she saw the spark in each and every one of you. You were her work family. Her passion for nursing never stopped even after she retired. Nursing was the rock that she tossed into the pond of life that sent ripples of compassion, opportunity, and service into the world.
My fondest childhood memories are defined by my Mom, my brother, our extended family and her close friends. At an early age I remember my Mom telling my brother and I “We may not have everything we want in life, and what we can possess we can lose, but one thing we will always have is family that loves us. Family is the most important thing in life.” My Mother was the glue that joined together our family puzzle, and for anyone who knows about Filipino families, I’m referring to a pretty large puzzle. My Mother prioritized spending time with family, both biological and chosen. She had an acute awareness that the time we have on earth is precious and so are the relationships and moments that we share while we’re here. She understood through her calling in life the importance of healing wounds that separate us from one another. My Mother did what she had to do to make things right, not because she expected something in return, but because it needed to be done. She was generous with her time, she was generous with her love, and she was generous with her wisdom. Her love of family and friends was the rock she tossed into the pond of life that sent ripples of forgiveness, kindness, and generosity into the world.
As a Mom my Mother possessed an expansive capacity to empathize and to love. One of the things she would always tell me as a child is “when you spend time with someone, always make sure you leave their cup a little more full, never leave someone’s cup a little more empty.” When I was 14 years old, I experienced my first heartbreak. I remember wondering how my young heart would possibly go on. My Mom saw her pitiful, broken-hearted boy moping around and asked me to join her for a walk. We walked the streets of Arcadia together on that late spring afternoon. This was when my Mom shared with me the importance of loving myself and accepting that there would be times in my life when I may have to be alone. She understood what it was like to feel abandoned and alone. She seized the opportunity to teach me that if I loved myself enough and remembered that I would always have God and a family I could turn to, I would never be alone. After our walk she took me to see the movie Jurassic Park. We sat side by side, mid center row. Before the movie started, she looked at me with a smile and said, “I’ll always love you baby, and I’ll never leave you.” I love you too, Mom. She knew that the bond she had with my brother and I was unbreakable; she gave us life, and on that day she used her capacity to empathize and love to refill my cup, and help mend a broken heart. My mother was love; she didn’t just mother her children, she mothered all children because she was deeply connected to the importance of nurturing the hearts, minds, spirits, and bodies of children. She always made sure there was food in the fridge or on the stove for all of the kids passing through her home. She even continued to mother chosen family members long after my brother and I left her nest. One day I called her to tell her that I felt bad for moving to San Francisco, beyond my ability to just drop by and see her. She reminded me that she raised me to live my own life and to experience the world around me. She told me not to stay around for her, she said, “find your place in the world that feels like home for you.” So that’s exactly what I did. Motherhood was the rock my Mother tossed into the pond of life that sent ripples of empathy, selflessness, and unconditional love into the world.
To every one of you who came to honor my Mother’s life and legacy today, let the ripples she sent into this world continue to flow through you or inspire you. I ask that you honor her legacy and memory in a way that is fitting of who she was. Commit to spending more time with family, strengthening the ties that bond you together. Commit to being a healer of wounds that separate you from a deeper understanding of others. Commit to helping people in their time of need. Commit to traveling further, dancing like nobody's watching, loving harder, and living your best life. Carry her memory with you in the spirit of making this world a more compassionate, empathetic, generous, loving, and peaceful place. My Mother was and will always be the hero of my life, and I believe no experience in life is wasted. Loving my Mom and seeing her through to the end of her life brought me closer to who I was created to be, and because of that, I can move forward with a deeper sense of appreciation, love, and gratitude for my Mom being the rock that created everlasting ripples in the pond of my life.